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Friday, October 21, 2011

Rat. Die now.

Beauty wins.

There's a former student of mine that's been described as hunky by every single woman in the world. When we walk through conventions, females of every age, race and creed turn and look. It's the fox and lion. I'm the fox.

So this is what it feels like to be beautiful. 

Recently, there was scratching in our attic. In the Lowcountry, that means rat or squirrel. The easiest way to get rid of one is baiting. But then they stink up the house for a week. And if it's a possum you just gassed, you may as well move.

I trapped the bugger. It's a rat and he's hopping mad. I don't care if he dies because he's got the gross tail and the hair is black and coarse and just blech. Then I realize the main difference between him and my daughter's hamster is the tail.

Hamster: cute and cuddly.

Rat: ugly and disgusting. Die now.

I once heard Donald Trump congratulate a contestant on his Apprentice show for being beautiful. In fact, he said she was beautiful, smart, successful and beautiful. Seemed rather stupid.

Hey, way to go! You're hot! Good work!

My daughter made me promise not to kill the rat so I let the revolting thing go in the woods. Hey, the owls got to eat, too. May as well let them eat the ugly rats. Not the gorgeous hamsters.

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