Saturday, January 6, 2024

BEN IS HERE shirts now available!

Our son, Ben, passed away on April 30, 2023. He was 28.

We printed a batch of BEN IS HERE shirts for the first Bertauski Open at the Bridge Spot held on his birthday in September. Now those shirts are available in different sizes, colors and designs. You can order online at https://benishere.creator-spring.com.

• The skate logo Ben designed in middle school.
• The three clouds is the tattoo he had on his back.
• The handwriting is his.
All profits will be donated to Ben’s Friends, a program for those struggling with addiction and substance abuse. For more information, go to: https://www.bensfriendshope.com/

BEN IS HERE is our rally cry. As long as we’re here, so is he. We miss his smile, his laughter, his presence. We’ve sent thousands of BEN IS HERE stickers all over the world in his memory. Thank you to those who have sent back photos. The locations of these stickers are posted on Instagram @benishere_bertauski.






Thursday, October 26, 2023

Ben

I started writing book 11 in the Claus Universe in November of 2022. Like most stories, I had a broad story arc in mind. I hadn’t planned on loss and grief being the crux of this adventure, but that's where the story went.

Six months later, I was nearing the end of the rough draft. I had just finished an emotional chapter where the main character faces the loss of her parents and the grief that consumes her. I finished that chapter on April 27, 2023.

On April 30, my son ended his life. He was 28 years old.

The only people I had lost in my life are grandparents. They were late in life when they passed. I am 56 years old. I have never faced loss on this level. It is a tsunami that washes everything away.

I wept for 48 hours. There was no sleeping that first night. After that, the shockwaves began to settle. It would take weeks for life to come back together. It’s not the same. Never will be. Even today, there’s a small part of me waiting to wake up from this dream.

I began writing stories over 20 years ago. It began when I wrote a story for Ben. That became the Socket Greeny trilogy. I wanted to express the difficulties of life in story form. The twenty-somethings is a very difficult time. It is that jagged terrain between childhood and adulthood. For some, the journey is long and treacherous. I had always envied those who seemed to cross over without breaking a sweat. Many of us, though, become exhausted with no guarantees we will complete the journey.

I was fortunate to have met teachers during that time in my life—therapists, meditation practitioners, mentors—who buoyed me during storms, taught me how to grow up, to find purpose. It was long and arduous. For my son, it felt impossible. 

In his memory, we created a sticker from artwork he had done in middle school. It was always one of our favorites. He was a skater at heart. We copied his handwriting to include "Ben is here". It is our chant. Our mantra. At first, we wrote "Ben was here". But as long as we're here, he's here.

If you would like a sticker, I would be honored to mail you some. All you have to do is email your address to tony (at) bertauski.com. Put the sticker wherever you want. Water bottle, bus station, dive bar, skatepark, sidewalk, refrigerator, wherever. All I ask is to email me a photo of it. That will bring us joy. 

You don't have to be a fan of my writing. Anyone can have one. 

Thank you for reading this far. It helps to be heard.

Much love. #benishere 

 


Thursday, October 20, 2022

A Trip to Yosemite

 Last time we tried to hike in the redwoods, it didn't go so well. At all.

We'd booked tickets to southern California. My wife was checking in our flights the day before and asked if I had my passport. I didn't have a passport. I didn't need one to go to California. She said our tickets were booked for San Jose. 

Costa Rico.

We didn't see redwoods that year. 

This year, we booked a trip to Yosemite. Not only do they have redwoods, they have Half Dome, they have El Capitan. Unfortunately, lodging in the park was already booked through the summer. October was the only time we could get a room. That time of year isn't exactly off-season, but it's not peak season either.

We booked four nights at Yosemite Valley Lodge. Decent room, plenty of places to eat, and, most importantly, it was in the middle of everything. Total cost of room = $1600. 

We flew out of Charleston, South Carolina at 7:30 am on Wednesday. One layover in Dallas, we arrived in Fresno, California at 2:00 pm. Add in the time change, that's 5:00 on the east coast. We'd been up for 12 hours. Yosemite was still a 2.5 hour drive. 

Our rental car reservation, however, had been cancelled. The guy at the desk didn't know why. But he could get us another one. An upgrade, of course. A brand new Jeep. Total cost of rental car = $700. 

We stopped at Walmart to buy food for the trails and hiking poles. We didn't want to check our poles through luggage, figuring they wouldn't let us put aluminum spears under the seat, and bought some cheapies. If you've never used hiking poles, they're worth it. They engage the upper body, taking some of the workload off the legs. Especially on slopes. 

The drive is scenic. Lots of agriculture, big almond orchards, cattle, rolling hills for the first hour or so. Once in the park, you start up the mountain at 35 mph. I didn't want to go any faster. The turns were tight. No guardrails. Sometimes the white line was on the edge of a cliff. I assume the views are gorgeous. My wife said so. I only saw the center line.

We arrived at the lodge at 5:30. We ate, drank beer, chatted with some folks at the bar and clocked out for the night. 

DAY 1

Technically, day 2. I'm not counting the day of travel, so day 1. 

We're up before 6:00 am. Because that's 9:00 am our time. We're out the door before 7:00. It's not dark, but it'll be a while before the sun comes over the mountains. All the trailheads are in walking distance. That's a bonus, because parking is a nightmare. It's Thursday, so the traffic isn't bad. Wait till Saturday. 

First stop, Lower Yosemite Falls trail. It's short, but scenic. An iconic view of the lower falls framed by rocketing sugar pines and incense cedars. October, though, isn't a good time to see the falls. There was no water. It was no less stunning. The verdant undergrowth, the titanic tree trunks, the deeply fissured bark. It had all the makings of a movie set. 


Lower Yosemite Falls

The trail was paved. All of it. Six foot wide or more. We were the only ones out there, leisurely taking in the sights and smells, weaving our way across the road into Cook's Meadow. This open area, truly a meadow, is surrounded by towering granite walls. They're so big it was hard to grasp perspective. 

Cook's Meadow

We continued a few miles to Mirror Lake, which, apparently, is quite scenic. When there's water. It was more like a sand pit. Still, gorgeous walk. And all paved. We returned to Yosemite Village about noon. Plenty of stores, cafes, Ansel Adams studio. 

After lunch, we rented bikes. These are the big, comfortable beach bikes. We took them down the Valley Loop trail toward El Capitan. This is the chunk of granite famous for climbing. It goes straight up 3200'. People gather in the meadow across the street and climber watch. They're eager to lend their binoculars to the less prepared. Us. 

Climber on El Capitan
 
Before hanging out in the meadow, we went to the nose of El Capitan. Some climbers were just beginning to make their ascent. It could take two or three days, depending on the route and skill, to summit the top of El Capitan. We talked to some climbers beginning a grueling journey. It was already hot. Climbing a giant rock couldn't be any cooler. 

Valley Loop Trail

Every afternoon, Yosemite has an "Ask a Climber" gathering in the meadow. People who had made the climb are there to answer questions, share their experience. They set up telescopes to spot the climbers. It is a fantastic insight into something I will never do. 

Advise: Bring a blanket, backpacks and binoculars. You'll want to lay down in the meadow and climber-watch. 

Climber Gazing in El Capitan Meadow

That night, we drove back out to the meadow just as it was getting dark. Someone told us about this. The sky, as you can imagine, is dusted with stars. But the cool thing is El Capitan. You can see the lights on the side of it where climbers are sleeping on portaledges anchored into the side of it. There are dozens of them. El Cap is so large, the lights look no different than the stars above it. 

We were asleep by 8:30 (11:30 our time).

"Stars" on El Capitan are climbers sleeping on portaledges for the night.


DAY 2

Day 1 was a warm up day. Day 2 was work. 

We had originally planned to hike the Upper Yosemite Falls trail, which is challenging, but were advised to avoid it since there was no water. Instead, we took the Four Mile trail to Glacier Point

We started at 7:00 am. Based on how thirsty we were on day 1 (the air be dry), we packed a ridiculous amount of water. Did not regret it. I drank about a gallon throughout the hike. Peed once. 

The trail is nearly all switchbacks, ascending the height of El Capitan. That's about 3000'. I had no idea we would go that high. The trail was paved. Nearly all of it, all the way to the top. It was generous in width, about four to six feet wide, which made for navigating the inclines easier. 

The construction of the trail was remarkable. The number of walls that were built thousands of feet up the mountain was impressive. The trail often times jutted out from the mountain over a long drop. I'm not great with heights, but these were pretty manageable. 

The views the trail offered were constant and glorious. So different than hiking in the Southeast where the trail is enclosed in trees with the payoff at the top. This was just a stunning view the entire way.

Four Mile Trail

The people on the trail were friendly. We stopped many times to chat. Very pleasant, amiable. It seemed half the people spoke another language. 

It took us four hours to reach the summit. 

Glacier Point

There's a road to Glacier Point. It's been closed all season, but when it's open you can skip all the suffering and drive up to see the breathtaking view. The area is well developed and broad. Plenty of places to scan the entirety of Yosemite. And, if you're lucky, you get to watch a young, fearless person walk out on the ledge for a photo.

Yep.

They step out on Overhanging Rock--a rock that juts out like a plank over 3000' of space. The people we saw do this seemed to have no fear. I could barely watch. One guy did it and I took his picture. He said he never would have forgave himself if he didn't do it. I forgave myself instantly.

Someone going out to Overhanging Rock. 

The way down took 3 hours. The diversity of people making this trek was surprising. People in their 80s, people with little kids, people who were not in good shape, people wearing flip-flips. People who didn't bring water. (We gave them water, we still had a stupid amount left). We couldn't help wondering what they felt like the next day. We're in decent shape and was feeling the aches. For us it was all in the calves. 

We got back to the lodge by mid-afternoon. Showered. Strolled about, ate dinner. 

That night, we went out to Cook's Meadow to see the stars again. Asleep by 8:00 (11:00 our time).

DAY 3

Our last day was a Saturday. What a difference.

By the afternoon, cars were lined up on the road. The crowd we heard about was inbound. Cell service, which had been reliable all week, went to zero. The Verizon bandwidth was sucked dry. Before that, we were getting reception all the way up to Glacier Point, which is convenient to navigate the trail. Now nothing.

We were out the door at 7:00 am. It was a long walk to the Mist Trail from the lodge. About 45 minutes. Pleasant, saw much of the valley along the way. Went through Curry Village where people rent small white tents. Considerably cheaper than the lodge we were at. It looked like hundreds of them, each with a food locker to keep out the bears. It looked like a Civil War encampment. With bikes.


Curry Village

Mist Trail was all paved and steep. And crowded. We took it to Vernal Falls where, yay!, there was water. Not much, but enough. Evidently, it roars during the season and sprays mist over the trail. Not this day. There were steps to reach the top of the falls. 

600 of them.

Vernal Falls

They were carved from the mountain. Again, the extent of craftsmanship was astounding. Obviously made for everyone to navigate. My wife opted not to make the climb. Her knees weren't reliable for that climb, not after a long hike the day before. I went to the top alone. 

There were very few railings. So watching your step is essential or it could be a long tumble. There are some narrow parts of the trail with a steep drop that are safely hemmed in with sturdy railings. The view down the valley was worth it. I leaned over the railing to get a hair raising shot before coming back down. 

Top of Vernal Falls some 600 steps later.

We opted not to continue the trail to Nevada Falls and returned to the lodge for lunch. 

That afternoon, we gave up our parking spot to drive down to Mariposa Grove to see some real redwoods. We were advised by a hiker to skip it. "You know what trees look like?" he said. "They're trees." Evidently, he wasn't a fan of trees.

The rental car snafu ended up being a benefit. We took the top off the Jeep (someone waited fifteen minutes to get out spot) and drove an hour down the mountain. The roads are winding. Being in the outside lane was more stressful. Some of the curves looked like a precipitous accident that, if no one saw you drive off of it, who would know you were down there?

Despite the racking of my nerves, it was a nice afternoon drive. Mariposa Grove has a shuttle that takes you two miles to the redwoods. It was crowded. But the trees were so worth it. Couldn't touch them, but just seeing those staggering behemoths was worth the admission. Which was free. Well, not exactly free. It's $35 to enter the park. Mariposa Grove is inside the park and, apparently, no one is collecting money after 5:00 when we got there on Wednesday. So free.


Redwoods at Mariposa Grove

We returned to the lodge to find parking. It was late afternoon, so the day-trippers were starting to clear out. Dinner. Beers. Showers. Not in that order.

5:30 am the next morning, we were back on the road to Fresno. Two and half hours later, we were at the airport. We were home by midnight. And that was with no travel complications. 

From the east coast, it's two full days of travel for three days of hiking. Worth it?

For sure.


Saturday, September 10, 2022

The Claus Universe Continues... ToyWorld (Book 10)

  

Book 10 in the Claus Universe is wrapped and ready. ToyWorld: Home of the Christmas Thief will release November 1. Like all Claus Universe novels, this is a standalone story. Although there are Easter eggs. Preorder the ebook to have ready when the clock strikes midnight. Paperback, hardback and the audiobook will also be available for the holiday season.

PREORDER TOYMAKER

or 

bertauski.com/claus

The Claus Universe is a series of stand alone novels featured legendary holiday characters reimagined in scifi/fantasy adventure. I never planned to write a scifi/fantasy series until my nephew, 6 years old at the time, swore Santa's elves came to visit him on the down low. He was 100% serious. 

Here it is, 10 Claus books later. Elven live in the ice. Reindeer fly with helium bladders. My wife didn't get it. I mean, I was furious when I discovered the truth about Santa Claus and reindeer and elves and here I am writing stories that explain how Santa Claus and reindeer and elves are real. I couldn't explain it, at first. I was pissed when my mom kept insisting Santa was real. YOU LIED! was my response. 

We did it different. Is Santa real? our son said. 

What do you think? 

I don't think he's real. 

Here's the deal. Don't tell your sister.

At that point, it was a blast. Put out milk and cookies, throw the carrots on the sidewalk. And when they figured it out, they were in the club. It's how the Claus Universe evolved. A dash of science fiction, a teaspoon of fantasy and a bucket full of adventure.

Let's have some fun.

By the way, 10% of profits goes to various charities, depending on the Claus book. ToyWorld will donate to Imagination Foundation

ORDER TOYWORLD

or 

bertauski.com/claus

ToyWorld: Home of the Christmas Thief

Hiro’s parents rearrange the furniture every December.

They make space in the corner for something tall. They plug in string lights and leave them on the floor. Sometimes, they cut down a tree but don’t know what to do with it. It’s not just Hiro’s parents. Everyone does it. Come January, they all straighten up their living rooms and everything goes back to normal. They do this every year.

No one knows why.

Something’s missing and they all feel it, but they never wonder what it is. And every year that passes, the world becomes colder and grayer. Until Hiro has a dream.

It's a world of magic, where he can taste sounds and hear thoughts, see things that defy the laws of physics and biology. It’s a place where trees are decorated and stockings are hung above the fireplace. Every day is celebrated with gifts.

It's the last place where joy exists.

Someone has stolen the Christmas spirit from the universe and hidden it in the dream. Hiro doesn’t remember a jolly fat man or flying reindeer, or elves on the North Pole. No one in Hiro’s world remembers Christmas at all.

Hiro and others like him need to free the Christmas spirit. This is their one and only chance. If they fail, his world and all others like it will stay cold and gray without Christmas... unless they discover the thief's true identity.

It's closer than they think.

PREORDER TOYWORLD

https://amzn.to/3RUPN6w

or 

bertauski.com/claus

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

The Claus Universe Continues... Toymaker

 


Book 9 in the Claus Universe is wrapped and ready. Toymaker: Return of the Lost Toys will release November 1. It's Christmas, but there are so many Easter eggs in this one. Preorder the ebook to have ready when the clock strikes midnight. Paperback, hardback and the audiobook will also be available for the holiday season.

ORDER TOYMAKER

https://amzn.to/3BWeebJ

or 

bertauski.com/claus

The Claus Universe is a series of stand alone novels featured legendary holiday characters reimagined in scifi/fantasy adventure. I never planned to write a scifi/fantasy series until my nephew, 6 years old at the time, swore Santa's elves came to visit him on the down low. He was 100% serious. 

Here it is, 9 Claus books later. Elven live in the ice. Reindeer fly with helium bladders. My wife didn't get it. I mean, I was furious when I discovered the truth about Santa Claus and reindeer and elves and here I am writing stories that explain how Santa Claus and reindeer and elves are real. I couldn't explain it, at first. I was pissed when my mom kept insisting Santa was real. YOU LIED! was my response. 

We did it different. Is Santa real? our son said. 

What do you think? 

I don't think he's real. 

Here's the deal. Don't tell your sister.

At that point, it was a blast. Put out milk and cookies, throw the carrots on the sidewalk. And when they figured it out, they were in the club. It's how the Claus Universe evolved. A dash of science fiction, a teaspoon of fantasy and a bucket full of adventure.

Let's have some fun.

By the way, 10% of profits goes to various charities, depending on the Claus book. Toymaker will donate to GiveWell.org

ORDER TOYMAKER

https://amzn.to/3BWeebJ

or 

bertauski.com/claus

Toymaker: Return of the Lost Toys

Toymaker: Return of the Lost Toys

It started with a present.

One Christmas morning, a mystery gift appeared under trees around the world. It was the exact same gift, inscribed with the maker’s initials in tiny letters: BT and Company. It was months before anyone knew exactly what the gift did.

Avery Tannenbaum’s brother was one of the lucky few to receive one. It was on her birthday when the mysterious gifts came to life. A contest was announced. It was also on that very same day Avery’s grandmother passed away.

An eccentric, wealthy woman, Nana Rai left detailed instructions on how to commemorate her passing, a celebration to be held on Christmas morning, which just so happened to be the same day the contest was set to end. Avery’s family travels to a cold and snowy land to honor her grandmother’s wishes. And it’s here she uncovers the true purpose of the mystery gift, and why the makers launched a global contest.

As Nana Rai’s celebration nears, Avery follows clues her grandmother left behind. BT and Company are searching for the Toymaker. And Avery knows what they’ll do when they find him. She becomes part of her grandmother’s plan to stop them. The real mystery isn’t where the Toymaker is hiding.

It’s why he’s hiding in the first place.

ORDER TOYMAKER

https://amzn.to/3BWeebJ

or 

bertauski.com/claus

Sunday, October 11, 2020

The Claus Universe Continues... Gingerman!

https://bertauski.com/claus 


The 8th standalone novel in the Claus Universe.

 

His real name is Christmas. It’s embarrassing. 

 

He’s been accepted into the Institute of Creative Mind, a prestigious institute for eccentrics, outliers, and gifted students. A school located in the middle of nowhere with two-hundred-year-old castles and a formidable stone wall. A school where Christmas is celebrated the entire year. 

 

Christmas trees, ornaments, and lights decorate the castles. Presents are given out every month, and students are pitted against each other in creative challenges. Chris soon finds out, however, the stakes are high.

 

The losers are expelled.

 

He spends sleepless nights keeping up with his homework to not disappoint his parents and to keep a cruel guidance counsellor off his back. But this place is more than a demanding school for gifted students. Chris finds a clue in a textbook his first night, written in code. 

 

Run, run as fast as you can. 

 

When he’s presented with an impossibility that defies all laws of physics and biology, anything becomes possible. Chris discovers students aren’t chosen for their artistic abilities but because of a DNA test. He doesn’t know what the school is really after. If he doesn’t stop them, Christmas will end forever. Everything depends on his courage.

 

And a strange little friend.


PRE-ORDER FROM ALL VENDORS
Amazon, Nook, Kobo, Google and Apple

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

The Audiobooks are Seriously Free.

 


I have a bunch of random free audiobooks that need a home. You can take as many as you want until they last. It might take a minute to find one that hasn't been claimed, but find one and it's free. Like digging for gold.

Enjoy.

https://bertauski.com/audiobooks/