I sit in meditation and watch my mind desperately trying to protect me. I watch how thoughts solidify. How scenarios form and pull me inside like the undeniable force of a black hole. I watch myself give in to the thoughts that create every possible scenario that might harm me, how I might avoid criticism, how I revel in the things I may or may not do.
Thoughts. I cling to them like a junkie.
And then I wonder who my thoughts are protecting. I ask the unspeakable, the unanswerable: Who am I?
And then return to the present moment. The sound of birds outside my bedroom window. The tickle in my nose. I stay present in a seamless moment of awareness. The thoughtless, eternal now. Until the thoughts return. And I go with them. Again. Like I have a million times.
And I return a million more.
Sitting is thus.