What Tomorrow May Bring

Our potential for good is matched by that of destruction. At any moment, change can fall on the world, people fight and die, and our comfortable lives can be lost to corrupt leaders. These are circumstances we can’t imagine, but places like this exist in the world today. 

What if tomorrow brings that grave reality to us, and we wake to find our lives in flux, poverty and confusion? Perhaps humanity’s insatiable appetites drive us to the brink of survival where sanity is redefined and life, as we know it, changes forever. 

Tomorrow, our lives could be very dark. 

Dystopian tales take us to these lightless places where suffering is a daily chore. But they also show us that in the deepest part of the night, pitched against a backdrop of despair, a beam of hope will shine brighter than ever before. And in our darkest moments, it can show us the way back. 

On May 1

Follow 11 authors into 11 dystopian tomorrows, where the dark portions of our humanity have taken hold of today, where the fabric of society is torn and greed consumes us all. Follow us down a dark path.

And find out what tomorrow may bring.

Get your copy today!

Open Minds, Susan Kaye Quinn

The Moon Dwellers, David Estes

Prison Nation, Jenni Merritt

Daynight, Megan Thomason

Stitch, Samantha Durante

The Annihilation of Foreverland, Tony Bertauski

The Girls from Alcyone, Cary Caffrey

The Narrowing Path, David J. Normoyle

The Rain, Joseph A.

Virulent: The Release, Shelbi Wescott

External Forces, Deborah Rix

Get updates on upcoming promotions for

What Tomorrow May Bring

Sign up for the newsletter!

Reality is Relative

We map the universe with five senses

Interpret reality with our mind

We rely on this body

What a poor vessel it is

Get the sequel to Halfskin for 0.99 

until the end of this week. 

Clay has arrived.

http:bertauski.com

  

The Halfskin series

Moderation is a Bitch

I don't have to lose weight. But I should.

In my mid-40s, things don't work the same. I need glasses to watch a movie and I read notes like Redd Foxx. I don't sleep through the night without a trip to the bathroom. If you're 40+, you know there are other things.

My son could eat lard for breakfast and still be a rail. He'll  burn it off with 19 year old metabolism and a weekend of skating. I exercise five days a week, but I can't eat lard. In fact, the older I get, the less indulgence I can afford.

I was listening to the audiobook The Mindful Way Through Depression that introduces the practice of mindfulness by eating a raisin. By engaging all the senses, he transforms the simple act of eating one raisin into something exquisite. I eat my food like a desperate wolf. When my wife made vegetarian burritos, I stared at the lone burrito on my plate, aware of my thoughts.

• This isn't going to be enough.
• I need chips.
• I just want to be happy.

What was interesting was that these thoughts were non-negotiable. I WILL eat another burrito. I WILL eat chips. And, later on, I WILL eat dessert. This, by the way, did happen.

I had lunch with a friend who recently got into shape. He described his process of slowing down when he makes decisions, pointing out that we tend to rush our actions when we know they are compulsive so we can't change our mind.

Eating is challenging, no doubt about it.

Things like cigarettes or booze, we can cut those out. Not eating. Eating presents the challenge of self-deprivation and self-control. It's not just being fully present with my dull oatmeal, it's being fully present with hunger. Saying no to an awesome dessert. It's one burrito, not two. It's being fully present with life as it is, regardless of how I feel about, with no guarantee I'll lose weight or reduce my nightly trips to the bathroom.

Moderation is a bitch. I think the Buddha said that.

http:bertauski.com

Halfskin
Clay (Sequel to Halfskin coming this spring!)

The Discovery of Socket Greeny FREE

Drayton, the Taker FREE

Who is the Teacher?

I've learned more as a teacher in the past 15 years than I did as a student.

It's the moments that I stop being a student that I fail as a teacher. I feel less like an authority, more of a messenger. I don't have anything special, I've just been doing it longer than most of my students.



When I first started, I handed out a lot of I don't knows to questions. But as the years accumulated, I found answers and passed them along. Now, fifteen years later, I look like an expert (to some). However, it doesn't seem special any more than walking or running, which, to a toddler, might seem quite impressive.

The challenge, as I see it, is to find a way to connect through the embodiment of beginner's mind. What's it like to hear about a concept for the very first time? How can I present this information, this experience, in a way that someone can digest?

This is assuming that all students come with sharpened pencils and shiny apples. If they did, it would be like sailing across glass. But they bring with them the messiness of life--the emotional hardships of home, the confusion of identity and the conflict of survival. They bring with them everyday shit that makes the waters choppy.

For some, it's quite stormy.

Can I find a way to cut through the wind, to be a beacon in darkness, to share with them direction? Not if I have no light to show, no direction to point. But if, every day, I arrive at work as a student in front of the class, I might do so.

But if I am a student...who is the teacher?

http:bertauski.com

Halfskin
Clay (Sequel to Halfskin coming in March!)

The Discovery of Socket Greeny FREE

Drayton, the Taker FREE

A Ticket to Dignity

Let's be honest, it's a speed trap.

The road had recently changed from 45 mph to 35 mph when the town decided to just pull the 45 mph signs. It still FEELS like it should be 45. Ask the people getting busted on a daily basis, they'd agree.

My ticket in the process.

So I head down ticket alley and see a car pulled over on the right shoulder. I follow the two cars ahead of me into the left lane, giving the officer plenty of space to get back to his car. Twenty seconds later, I've got lights in my rearview.

I find the nearest side road, wondering if he's going to bust me for going 38. Or maybe my speedometer is broken, or there's a taillight out, or he doesn't like blue pickups.

"Do you know why I pulled you over."

"No, sir."

"You are required by law to slow down 10 mph below the speed limit when passing flashing lights."

This, I did not know. Apparently, switching lanes isn't enough.

I give him my info. My driving record is spotless and I wasn't going unreasonable fast, so I expect a warning. I get a ticket for $165 with no points. He tells me I could've gotten a $500 ticket and 6 points. This feels ludicrous, but I politely take the ticket.

I'll go to court in February. I'll plead guilty and, in most cases, the judge will knock the ticket in half. I'll pay the $80 and leave and never, ever, ever pass flashing lights without slowing down.

But here's the thing.

I want to plead my case. I want to pay $0. I can afford the fine, I won't get the points, but I want to win. I want to plead not guilty and explain to the judge that there was an entire lane between me and the officer and that, in fact, I wasn't speeding. I could even claim to be going under the speed limit. He didn't have a speed gun on me.

But all that's not true, and I know it. I wasn't an entire lane over. And I know exactly how fast I was going because I use cruise control on that stretch. All I have to do is lie and, maybe, I'll get the fine reduced even more or, hallelujah, have it thrown out.

How common has dishonesty become? We see it practiced in courtrooms, in politics, and everyday life. We teach our children to be true to themselves and others but, when it comes right down to it, we sometimes knowingly lie, even if it's tiny, insignificant self-deceptions for our own benefit, because it's not the truth that matters but what you can prove. I'm guilty of this. Sometimes, it happens so automatically, I don't catch it until later. Am I really going to sell my dignity to beat this ticket?

The measure of a man is what he does with power. --Socrates

Here's what I hope happens: the judge looks at this ticket and reads the officer the riot act for such misjudgment. Here's a citizen with a clean record and, by switching lanes, was clearly observing your safety. The fact that he didn't slow down to 25 mph does not warrant a ticket. Now give me your badge, you are relieved of duty.

Here's what will happen: pay the fine and leave.

And from now on, Mr. Bertauski, slow down.

http:bertauski.com

Halfskin
Clay (Sequel to Halfskin coming in March!)

The Discovery of Socket Greeny FREE

Drayton, the Taker FREE

Get Broke

The car is in the shop. Again.

15,000 miles and it's in the shop for the third time. The steering linkage broke in the Target parking lot. At least it didn't happen on the Interstate at 70 mph.

Blessings counted: 1



But this is the third time in six months. Come on, now. At least, we discussed, it's still under warranty, but, you know, we should get something for our troubles, right? A little payback for pain, suffering and general hassle. It's starting to feel like a lemon. There's no chance we can get a new car out of this, but maybe we can haggle for an extended warranty to restore our confidence in Nissan.

I show up with speech rehearsed when the service technician says, "Yeah, we're not paying for this."

"I'm sorry. What?"

Larry the service technician goes on to explain that that part can't break unless there's been an accident, in which case the warranty is null and void. We haven't been in an accident and there's no indication of an accident. If you have eyes, you can see that. Larry has eyes.

"Here's what happened," I explain. "We backed up, it broke. That's all I know."

"Something could've bounced under the car," Larry says. "So, no warranty."

Now, here's what I think. Larry is generally a good-spirited guy. After all, we've been to him twice already. He smiled, helped us out, even hooked us up with a loaner the last time. Larry, however, doesn't return phone calls in a timely fashion. Say, for instance, he tells you he'll call later today. You might hear back from him tomorrow. In that respect, he was consistent.

My wife was none too happy with Larry's phone habits and had called the service manager. The service manager couldn't have cared less what she had to say about Larry and his spotty track record.

I tell that story to finish this story. Larry wasn't not happy to see me this time. I don't mean someone-drank-the-last-cup-of-coffee unhappy. It was the sort of I-show-you-whose-phone-habits-blow sort of unhappy. Paranoid? That's possible. But Larry didn't go to bat for us. And now they want $1000 for the repair. Well, guess what? I'm towing it somewhere else, so who got the last laugh now?

Huh?

http:bertauski.com

Halfskin
Clay (Sequel to Halfskin coming in March!)

The Discovery of Socket Greeny FREE

Drayton, the Taker FREE

Want

What do you want most out of the next chapter of your life?

A friend asked me that.



I think I’ve always struggled with identifying what I want. When the question was posed early in life, even as simple as coming up with a 5-year plan, I was always at a loss. As a kid, my decisions were based on what felt good, which worked just fine. That compass, though, became a problem the older I got. What I wanted was to feel good, and that included things like booze, sex, food, and sleep…the standard sins.

If all of those wants were boiled down to their essence, what I wanted was security and safety – the guarantee that nothing would hurt me. I wanted to fall asleep with momma’s tit. Of course, all of those wants lead to a very small, very self-centered life. Ultimately, depression. So, over time, I’ve steered away from things that shrink my openness. But I still have trouble answering the question.

What do I want?

Right now, I’m 3 months into my latest novel. As I outline the final third or so of the story, the ending is slowly coming into focus and I realize there’s no way I could’ve planned for that 3 months ago. I had a general idea of what the story would be, but as the story progressed the characters started to grow. The thread that will eventually hold the story together isn’t anything I could've imagined in the beginning. And that, I suppose, is a good answer.

I don't know what I want because I don't know where I'm going.

Maybe it's not what I want, I should be asking, but what I need. But, I'll be honest, I’m afraid to ask the universe for what I need because, quite frankly, I’ve got everything I want. I won the marriage lottery. I have a great family, a successful career, and good health. I’ve got it all. So I’m afraid to ask for what I need because life might have one big ass pothole up ahead and I don’t want that. But perhaps that’s what I need.

If I had to answer the question “what I want” it would be this: remain open to this very moment, regardless what it contains, no matter how I feel about it, whether I like it or not, and to continue growing. To serve life.

Oh, and a G.I. Joe with kung-fu grip.

http:bertauski.com

Claus: Legend of the Fat Man
Jack: The Tale of Frost NEW!

The Discovery of Socket Greeny FREE

Drayton, the Taker FREE